The Blame Game

Carson and Chase are at an interesting place in their relationship. They don’t like each other very much right now. And they continually blame the other for anything and everything that goes on between them. If Carson hits Chase it is because Chase looked at him wrong. If Chase gets angry at Carson, it’s because Carson called him a name. Neither one of the boys will take responsibility for their actions and stop annoying the other. They enjoy blaming each other, in fact, it’s really become a game with them and most of the time I’m not even sure they are more into the fighting or just seeing who can blame the other for the most offenses.

The other night, I pulled each aside privately and told them they had to take responsibility for their actions. I was tired of listening to the bickering and that it was time to stop. And then I gave them an added incentive. They will lose their electronic privileges if their wrongful behavior continues.

It’s been much more peaceful here since our conversation. Maybe something finally clicked in. Maybe they are starting to understand that they are responsible for their own actions, their own responses, that just because someone else did something wrong, doesn’t give them the right to do wrong as well.

I know this game isn’t anything new. In the Book of Genesis, after Adam ate the fruit that God warned him not to eat, he blamed the woman that God had given him. When Eve was confronted, she blamed the serpent for deceiving her.

In Exodus, Aaron blamed the people for his decision to make a golden calf for them to worship.

In I Samuel, Saul blamed the people for his disobedience to God in the order to destroy the Amalekites.

It is always easier to blame another, yet, when we stand up and take personal responsibility for our actions, God can work miracles in our lives. King David had an affair with another man’s wife, then had the man killed in battle, so he could marry her and be the father of the baby she carried. When Nathan the prophet confronted David, he didn’t blame the woman for his sin, but rather took personal responsibility, fell on his face before God and repented of his actions. When the baby died, David didn’t blame God, but rather wiped his tears and moved forward with his life. David was the most famous King of Israel, God called him a ‘man after my own heart.’ Not because he was sinless, but because he chose to be a victor, not a victim.

I don’t want to be like Adam and Eve, blaming others for my mistakes … I want to be like King David. When I mess up, I want to own my stuff, repent and move forward with God!

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)

Father, thank you for this lesson on responsibility. I know I cannot change another, I know I alone am responsible for my actions. Help me Father to admit my mistakes, to use them to move forward, but to also learn from them, so that I do not repeat. Keep my heart soft Lord Jesus, so that it is always focused on you.

I love you Jesus,
In your name I pray.

God’s Blessings Upon You.